


This is why I hate you

by CauseOfDrama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Insecure Harry, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Letters, Lonely Harry, M/M, Sad, Sad Harry, this is one letter by Harry to Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CauseOfDrama/pseuds/CauseOfDrama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry writes a letter to Louis listing all the reasons why he hates him, after Louis asked. </p><p> </p><p>written over this prompt: <br/>Harry listing the reasons why he hates Louis after they broke up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is why I hate you

You asked me why I hate you. Did you really have to ask? I was laying in my bed, thinking about how I would waste the next day, how I would spend another day that didn't matter because I wasn't spending it by your side. Your text came in.   
Why do you hate me?   
I thought it was a joke at first, but the laughing never occurred. My head was spinning, I felt like I'd fall, I know I should have but I could never ignore you. So I got up, and now I am sitting here, writing you a letter, that will hopefully get lost on it's way to you. Although I know it won't.   
So, these are 10 reasons why I hate you.

1\. Your eyes.  
I can't believe this is the first thing on the list but they are really the first thing that always finds it way on my mind when I think about you. They are also one of the many things that make me cry instantly, while thinking about you. They are so blue, but not a normal, boring blue. The way the light gets caught in them when you smile, it makes me happy to see that.   
Although I will never see it again, it makes me happy to remember that somewhere out there you are smiling. But the reason I hate them, is that you were always able to see right through me.   
No matter how hard I was trying to pretend to be alright when I wasn't you just knew how I was really feeling.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

2\. Your hands.  
The gentle touches when no one was looking or when you just didn't care that someone was. The way your hand seemed to fit in mine like it was meant to be.   
The feeling of relief when after a long day, you placed your hand on my cheek before leaning in and whispering that it is going to be okay.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

3\. How every song reminds me of you.  
I can find you in every lyrics and it drives me insane. Whether I listen to sad or happy, old or new songs, you are always there. Suddenly every love song is about us and it makes me feel lonely.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

4\. Your voice.  
Your voice and the way it calmed me down when it felt like my world was crashing. The way you used to whisper sweet nothings into my ear until I fell asleep after crying. Your voice in the mornings, how the high tone was suddenly replaced by a rather husky one and the way my name sounded coming from your lips.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

5\. Your smell.  
The way I seem to smell you everywhere, for a split second before it is gone again. It makes me go mad. I have always loved the way you smelled, it smelled like home.   
How I always used to 'secretly' smell you and the way you always pretended not to notice. A slight smirk would find it's way onto your face and I would pretend not to see it.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

6\. Your body.  
I don't mean in a sexual way, although I do definitely miss that, I mean the way you are smaller than me but yet you would be the one to hold me in your arms. My back against your chest and your breath on my neck. It makes me sick to think all of that now belongs to her.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

7\. Supporting you.  
I don't hate you for making me support you, I hate you for the fact that it isn't my job anymore. It isn't me coming to your football games, cheering louder than everyone else, celebrating with you or comforting you in case you lost. It isn't my job anymore.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

8\. Empty.  
I hate you for how empty this house is without you and how clean. No one is making a mess, claiming it wasn't them afterwards, no one is here. But no one should, no one besides you.   
I hate you for how empty these walls are without our pictures on them.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

9\. Promises.  
The way you promised me you wouldn't leave, we would always be together and the way you made me believe it. How hard it was for me to ask for a promise and how easy it was for you to make one.   
The way I promised you I would always love you and you remained silent and the way we both were right.   
Do you know how hard it is not to have you here? 

 

10\. I love you.  
The way your name tastes on my lips and the way I will never be good enough for you.   
The way I will never, even though I know I can't have you, want someone else.   
The way my life doesn't seem to make sense without you.   
But most importantly, the way I could never hate you, even if I wanted. 

Don't you know that I can't take it not to have you here?


End file.
